The David Kaufer Podcast: The Lighter Side of the Spectrum

Structural Grief and Autonomy in Parenting with Dr. Debra Brause

David welcomes clinical psychologist Dr. Debra Brause, a California-based writer for Psychology Today and mother of a neurodivergent teen, to discuss “structural grief,” which Brause notes was coined by Dr. Michael Hogue: grief not about the child, but about ableist, capitalist systems (school, healthcare, benefits) and collapsed normative timelines. In an autism fact-or-fiction segment, Brause challenges the belief that parents must grieve the child they expected, reframing grief as systemic and inviting a reorientation toward presence, care, and community. They discuss homeschooling after harmful school experiences, and distinguish autonomy (self-direction with support) from independence (doing things alone). Brause’s tip urges parents to notice triggers, address unresolved trauma, and avoid shaming behaviors like stimming; she recommends mindful self-compassion resources and community support such as Tilt Parenting.
Topics
00:36 Meet Dr Debra Brause
03:00 Her Journey to Autism
05:17 Autism Fact or Fiction
06:02 Rethinking Parental Grief
12:25 Defining Structural Grief
14:52 School System Breaking Points
19:56 Autonomy vs Independence
22:50 Fear of Disability Culture
24:13 Setting Up Tip Segment
24:39 Do Your Own Work
25:07 Triggers and Stimming
26:58 Compliance vs Acceptance
27:47 Fears and Behavior Therapy
31:03 Rupture and Repair
33:47 Forgiveness and Trauma Time
35:48 Mindful Self Compassion
39:02 Writing and Advocacy
41:20 Parent Confession Fix It Mode
44:55 Community and Support
47:15 Connect and Wrap Up

Transforming Autism Support with Dr. Amy Laurent

David welcomes Dr. Amy Laurent, developmental psychologist, co-creator of the SCERTS Model and co-founder of Autism Level Up, to discuss shifting autism support from compliance-based behavior management to relationship-centered, autonomy-respecting care. Amy shares her path from occupational therapy and traumatic brain injury work into autism, sparked by her first autistic client and mentorship with Dr. Barry Prizant. They critique outdated behavior charts and the “use your words” mindset, exploring how communication barriers, dyspraxia/apraxia, and high effort demands can reduce initiation, erode trust, and create harmful passivity mistaken for progress. Amy explains SCERTS (Social/Significant Communication, Emotional/Energy Regulation, and Transactional Support) as a partnership model that embeds partner responsibilities into goals and assessment. They highlight emerging collaboration among developmental frameworks, including a coalition advancing funding alternatives to behavioral services in California. Amy describes AutismLevelUp.com’s practical, largely free tools, including energy regulation and “Solve Not Size.”
 
Visit AutismLevelUp.com
 
Topics
00:45 Meet Dr. Amy Laurent
02:01 Serendipity Into Autism
06:24 Questioning Behaviorism
11:52 Funding And Coalitions
16:17 What Is The SCERTS Model
22:28 Updating SCERTS With Autistic Voices
25:49 Initiation And Praxis Challenges
26:37 Dyspraxia Motor Planning Load
28:15 Communication Drain and Mouth Words
28:41 Why Use Your Words Backfires
30:13 Withdrawal and Lost Trust
31:16 Rebuilding Trust by Responding
34:36 Autism Level Up Origin Story
36:45 Energy Regulation Toolkits
38:21 Solve Not Size Framework
40:17 Whole Body Learner and Pain Tools
42:29 Autism Tip Deep Why
44:31 Fact or Fiction Calm vs Regulated
46:54 Parent Confession and Wrap Up

Financial Planning for Autism with Lynda Kommel-browne

David welcomes autism advocate and financial advisor Lynda Kommel-browne, a mom of five whose youngest, Winston, is a non-speaking autistic speller. They discuss advocacy, fighting for inclusion in public school, and Winston’s strengths, including advanced math, acting roles, and rapid foreign-language acquisition (Spanish and Chinese). The conversation focuses on early financial and estate planning: building a team, pursuing Medicaid/state benefits and respite care, and describing needs on a child’s worst day. Lynda explains ABLE accounts (tax-advantaged, broad disability expenses, $20k/year contributions, $100k benefit threshold) versus special needs trusts (often funded with life insurance). They address guardianship vs supported decision-making and share parent confessions about delayed planning.
 
Lynda can be reached by phone via her office number: (203) 226-1559 or mobile: (917) 374-6948 
 
Topics
00:58 Meet Lynda Kommel-browne: Advocate + Wall Street to Special Needs Planning
03:28 Linda’s Family Story & Why Planning Early Matters
05:43 Planning for “Three Lifetimes”: Team, Timeline, and Peace of Mind
07:28 Winston’s Journey: From Early Diagnosis to Finding Communication
09:10 Spelling/Letterboards Breakthrough (Learning on Zoom)
10:32 School District Battles, Presuming Competence & Paving the Way
12:10 College Dreams: Linguistics, Languages, and Accessible Campuses
15:45 Staying in Public School + Using Apex for STEM Accommodations
21:03 Big-Picture Planning: Divorce, Building a Team, and Special Needs Credentials
24:50 Family Roles, Guardianship Plans, and Funding a Dignified Adult Life
26:51 Practical Tools Next: Benefits, ABLE Accounts, and Why You Can’t Wait
29:00 Finding Help for Medicaid & Public Benefits Paperwork
29:55 Applying the Right Way: Describe Your Child’s “Worst Day”
32:30 Why Starting Early Matters: Medicaid, State Programs & Respite Care
36:16 ABLE Accounts 101: Limits, Investing Early, and What You Can Spend It On
40:49 Special Needs Trusts Explained: Trustees, Life Insurance, and Estate Planning
47:07 Autism Fact or Fiction: Presume Competence + ABLE Accounts Aren’t Just for the Wealthy
49:06 Parent Confessions: Planning Wake-Up Call & Guardianship vs Supported Decision-Making
53:22 Final Takeaways & How to Reach Lynda (Don’t Wait to Start)

Spelling to Communicate as a Civil Right

David dives into the controversial message passing test promoted by ASHA, which has significant implications for non-speakers on the autism spectrum. Joined by producer and attorney Dave Yas, they explore the civil rights violations and legal inconsistencies associated with this test. The episode emphasizes the need for a paradigm shift in recognizing effective communication methods for those with non-speaking autism. Listeners are encouraged to join the fight for better, more inclusive communication standards.
Topics
00:55 Today's Special Topic: Autism Communication and Civil Rights
01:31 Introducing Dave Yas: Attorney and Autism Advocate
04:16 The Message Passing Test: An Overview
09:39 Critique of the Message Passing Test
17:33 ASHA's Position and Its Implications
20:59 The Broader Impact on Non-Speakers
27:06 Addressing Childcare Center Accusations
27:39 Ensuring Communication Integrity
29:00 Protecting Vulnerable Populations
30:14 Constitutional and Civil Rights Violations
30:36 Procedural Due Process Explained
32:14 First Amendment Rights and Freedom of Speech
33:10 ADA and Reasonable Accommodations
35:31 Equal Protection Clause
37:40 Organizational Liability of ASHA
44:26 Personal Experience with Spelling to Communicate
50:22 Challenging the Message Passing Test
52:17 Call to Action for Advocacy

Shifting the Autism Narrative with Stacy Badon & Torrin Kearns

David dives deep into dispelling myths and challenging fear-based narratives about autism. Joined by Stacy Badon, an autism education specialist with over 20 years of experience, and Torrin Kearns, an autistic self-advocate, screenwriter, and blogger, the trio discusses the evolving perceptions of autism, the importance of presuming competence, and the challenges faced by parents and individuals in the autism community. They also highlight the necessity of giving oneself grace, understanding communication and regulation, and addressing the current administration's approach to autism. The episode wraps up with memorable tips, personal confessions, and ways to support and connect with the guests online.
 
Stacy Badon:
https://autism4home.com/
@ EverythingAutism 
 
Torrin Kearns:
@autisticauthor
@theautismsage
 
Topics
00:39 Meet the Guests: Stacy and Torrin
02:41 Stacy's Journey in Autism Advocacy
08:30 Torrin's Perspective on Autism Diagnosis
12:06 Challenges and Triumphs: Torrin's Story
20:21 The Power of Connection: How Stacy and Torrin Met
23:53 Combating Fear-Based Messaging in Autism
30:04 Expectations vs. Reality in Parenting
31:53 The Importance of Pivoting as a Parent
33:47 Challenges Faced by Parents of Autistic Children
35:33 RFK Jr. and Autism: A Controversial Perspective
45:28 Autism Tip of the Week
48:40 Autism Fact or Fiction
52:17 Parent Confessions
59:21 Closing Remarks and Contact Information
 

Unlocking Voices with Susan Baker

David welcomes special guest Susan Baker. Susan shares her journey and advocacy for her non-speaking autistic son, Andrew, discussing how the method of 'spelling to communicate' has transformed their lives. They delve into the emotional and physical fatigue that comes with constant advocacy, fighting for acknowledgment of their children's capabilities, and the inherent systemic challenges. The episode also highlights Susan's broader message of finding inspiration, keeping faith in the fight for inclusion, and the importance of grassroots movements. Listener segments include 'Autism Tip of the Week' and 'Autism Fact or Fiction,' providing insightful advice for parents and dispelling common misconceptions about autism.
 
Topics
00:39 Meet Susan Baker: Advocate and Author
01:39 The Struggles and Triumphs of Advocacy
03:48 Andrew's Journey and the Power of Communication
11:33 Challenges in the Education System
17:41 Grassroots Advocacy and Systemic Change
31:27 Personal Reflections and Parental Resilience
35:35 The Impact of the Letter Board
36:55 Teenage Angst and Independence
44:05 Understanding Apraxia
48:31 Autism Tip of the Week
51:36 Fact or Fiction: Your Child is in There
58:10 Closing Thoughts and Reflections

Waves of Inclusion: Chad Culver & The Peyton Project

David welcomes Chad Culver from The Peyton Project, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting autistic and non-speaking individuals and their families. They discuss the origins and growth of the foundation, brought to life by Chad's son Peyton, and its contributions to fostering communication and inclusion. They delve into Peyton's personal journey, the impact of Spelling to Communicate, and the significance of community events like the annual surf camp. Chad also shares valuable insights and personal stories, emphasizing the importance of presuming competence and treating children with autism like any other kids. The episode concludes with practical tips and heartfelt confessions from their experiences as parents navigating the challenges and triumphs of raising a child on the autism spectrum.
 
Visit https://www.thepeytonproject.com/
 
Email David Kaufer at david.kaufer@hey.com
And visit https://davidkaufer.com/
 
Topics
00:51 Meet Chad Culver from the Peyton Project
03:29 The Journey of Peyton's Diagnosis
05:32 Challenges and Triumphs in Education
17:59 The Peyton Project: Origins and Impact
19:42 Surf Camp: Building Community and Belonging
22:38 Future Goals and Reflections
24:02 Local Community Initiatives
25:03 Peer Interaction and Social Challenges
28:05 Sibling Relationships and Family Dynamics
28:58 Autism Tip of the Week
30:11 Parent Confessions
40:26 Future Vision for the Peyton Project
46:01 Conclusion and Contact Information

‘Special-Ed Boss’ Karen Mayer Cunningham

David welcomes special education advocate Karen Mayer Cunningham, known as the 'Special Education Boss.' Karen shares her journey from being a mother navigating the special education system to becoming a leading advocate for children with disabilities. Together, they tackle practical strategies for parents and educators to navigate IEP meetings, advocate effectively, and ensure meaningful progress for students. Filled with expert insights, tips, and personal stories, this episode is a must-listen for anyone involved in special education.
 
Visit https://specialeducationacademy.com/
 
Email David Kaufer at david.kaufer@hey.com
And visit https://davidkaufer.com/
 
Topics
00:37 Meet the Special Education Boss: Karen Mayer Cunningham
01:51 Karen's Personal Journey and Advocacy
04:35 Challenges in Special Education
07:54 The Importance of Proper Training and Resources
13:59 Navigating the IEP Process
18:16 Advocating for Your Child's Rights
19:21 The Role of Schools and Teachers
20:32 Legal and Systemic Issues in Special Education
21:38 Karen's Mission and Vision for the Future
23:54 Legal Requirements for Special Education
24:17 The 504 Plan Controversy
25:12 Challenges in Special Education
26:40 The Role of Parents in IEP Meetings
29:00 Communication and Assistive Technology
33:54 Preparing for IEP Meetings
40:43 Tips for Parents and Educators

Celebrating Stone!

David welcomes his son Stone, a 20-year-old non-speaking student, to discuss his experiences, challenges, and aspirations. Stone, who has recently gained the ability to speak more through brain enhancement therapy, shares his journey towards greater communication, his struggles with being underestimated, and his ambitious goal to attend Harvard. The podcast also features segments such as 'Tip of the Week,' where Stone advises always presuming competence with non-speaking individuals, and 'Confessions,' revealing sibling dynamics and personal anecdotes. 
 
Email David Kaufer at david.kaufer@hey.com
And visit https://davidkaufer.com/
 
Topics
00:46 New Year, New Look, New Guest
01:14 Meet Stone 
03:55 Stone's Journey and Achievements
06:42 Challenges and Misconceptions
10:34 Tip of the Week
12:03 Confessions and Reflections
16:15 Closing Remarks

One Year of The Lighter Side of the Spectrum

In this special 50th episode of 'The Lighter Side of the Spectrum,' David celebrates a significant milestone—one year of the podcast. David reflects on the journey, sharing personal anecdotes, listener feedback, and heartfelt thank-yous. Producer Dave joins in, highlighting the show's evolution and its impactful moments. The episode also revisits notable guests and topics from the past year, including autism communication breakthroughs, sensory motor differences, and the role of AI in assisting neurodiverse individuals. Special segments feature touching stories from David's son, Stone, and enlightening interviews with experts like Dr. Elizabeth Torres and Libby Ralston. The episode culminates with an inspiring account of a recent advocacy trip to New York, showcasing Stone's direct engagement with a global audience. As they look forward to another groundbreaking year, David and Dave emphasize their commitment to fostering community, resilience, and inclusive conversations.
 
Topics
00:38 Celebrating Episode 50!
03:18 Reflecting on Memorable Episodes
04:14 Interview with Meg Parkinson
08:02 Educational Equity with Lara Hruska
11:10 Brain Enhancement Therapy
17:23 Stone's Journey and Reflections
24:19 Turning the Corner: Embracing New Methodologies
24:42 Introducing Lila: The AI Partner
26:31 AI's Role in Emotional Support
28:39 AI in Everyday Life
33:05 Dr. Elizabeth Torres on Sensory Motor Neuroscience
38:24 Libby Ralston's Advocacy and Personal Story
42:26 The Great Autism Advocacy Adventure
45:20 Looking Ahead: Future Possibilities